Tainted Love
by BaraAiGaara
Summary: The high-schooler Gaara has fallen inlove with his rude bully Hidan, will he ever be able to get him to understand his feelings? Or will he be denied and maybe get even more bullied? Rated M for HIdan's language, yaoi
1. Chapter 1

OKAY, You may kill me for this story D;

If there's some grammar wrong or something tell me… Because I'm just a little 13 year old pervert from Sweden who, I guess, isn't the greatest in English, I believe.

I happen to love Gaahidan and yaoi too lol :D…

But I can't say I'm going to be proud of this story at all… But I hope you'll enjoy…

This is kinda my first fanfic too… :C

CHAP 1

Ever since that day I first saw him the first day in high school , I've been having this new feeling in my chest. It hurts but at the same time way feels good. Hurts because I know I never can let my feeling out. It's my secret…, good because… I don't think there is anything about it. Might be the feeling I get when I see him stroll through the corridor proudly like som sort of a king, that's the only time I feel alive because my heart always skips a beat when he is in my sight. I give that beat away to him but can he feel it? No, I think not. This overwhelming feeling I have inside who is just waiting to burst out in bloom. I want to give it all to him. I don't want to have my heart captured in a dark cage anymore, but how the hell am I supposed to tell him!

I hit my head on my locker in frustration and let my forehead rest on it… I sighed deeply.. Schools over and I haven't seen him today not even a little glance in the cafeteria were he usually hangs out in a corner with his gang, and well it's rather odd he hasn't showed up because he always wants to 'hang out' with me too, thou in a different way… No we don't have sex or anything like that.. Perverts.…Well whatever…

I opened up my locker and threw in a few books in my white and black checkered

Shoulder bag, closed the locker again. Turned around and had my eye hooked on the dark gray stone floor who only encouraged the cold atmosphere here in school, it is actually freezing cold here, seriously they should fix this fucking problem.. Someone's whistling on that whistling theme from the kill bill movie… Must be the so called 'dream prince' of mine, I've heard him brag on about how much he loves those movies with his friends.

"Well, well, well… If it isn't my favourite fucking little Ginger who is spooking around school as the little emo you are.." Yup I was right it's him alright.. I continued to have my head down and kept walking, but then heard a chuckle and felt arms wrap around me from behind. I blushed and turned my head in a way he couldn't see.

" Ignoring me eh? I know your fucking watching me all the time other else, so why not now?" He said with his usual cocky tone. I glared up at him, he is a little more then one head taller then me. I hate to look up at people like they would be some fucking god or something..

" Yeah, in your dreams Hidan… And if I was to watch you all the time, how do you know that I am if your not watching me too?" I snorted out, thou I know I kinda stalk him.. He begun to smirk and forcefully shoved me into the wall, I hissed by the pain in the back of my head when it hit the wall. He leaned down and gave me a glare.

" Trying to piss me off or something little douche bag?" He shook his head.

" Not an good idea if you don't want me to beat the crap out of you.", I looked back at him with my usual' no emotion face', unaffected by his words. I wonder if that is the thing that triggers him on bullying me, that he want's to change the pokerface of mine by harassing me everyday, physically and mentally.. I sighed deeply and looked down at my and his feet. Why can't he just get it over with so I can go home.. Or most likely limp..

" Come on now Gaa-chan, look at me."

I gave no respond.

He grabbed my jaw and yanked it up towards him painfully. I whined as I could feel his grip getting tighter and his nail digging into my cheek, wish gave him a gloating grin

He's an sadist, I know it…

" You should be fucking thankful to me who even talks to you at this stupid school you know.. That I'm even wasting my fucking time on a little piece of pathetic shit like you." He said cheeky but kept a smooth tone.

" If I'm so pathetic why do you even bother noticing my existence.." I replied calmly and his eyes narrowed.

" Tsk.. It's not like anyone could miss a little freak like you. But well, since your just a loner I guess it's weird that I do notice you." I snorted and glanced aside from him. 'should I be honoured or something…?'

" You know, it's not fucking strange that people are ignoring me since you are a murderer.. I heard it was your fault that your mother is dead." I glared at him again as he shook his head like he was sorry.

" I feel bad for her dying while giving birth to a disgusting monster like you, it's not weird that your family hates you. You're an outcast wherever you go"

I narrowed eyes and clenched fists hard in anger. I furiously shoved him away from me.

" Shut up! You don't know any shit about me and my family so just shut the fuck up!" I yelled at him but then got tense as I saw his sadistic smirk fade away.

….I've pissed him off now wish means that he will most likely kick my ass…

He got one hell of a bad temper..

His face looked like it was growing darker. Like a black fog was covering it, expect his glowing eyes who stared at me, almost piercing me with is gaze. I feel vulnerable, he is right, I am a pathetic piece of shit, I can't even defend myself without getting beaten up…

I pressed my back at the wall and took a slow step to the side, still watching him tensely.. He slowly walked towards me with heavy steps full of anger and I begun to run away from him to the exit, why does the corridor have to be so fucking long?

..I know it's useless.. His steps are getting closer, I'm almost at the door but he grabs my shoulder and seconds later I'm down at the floor with him on top of me.

" What did you say to me?" Not good.. His face is only inches away from mine. I could feel his warm breath hitting my face, we both were panting slightly from the running. He watched me with an intensive look who made me feel almost naked… How I wish I was, tied up on a bed with him making out with me…Spacing out….

My eyes travelled down from his purple pinkish eyes to his pink, cute lips who were slightly separated from each other, I know I'm spacing out but I can't help it, he is so close, why does he have to lean down so near to me? Aw fuck I'm actually getting a hard on and he is on his way beating the hell out of me! Fuck me and my fantasy…I squeeze my legs together trying to strangle my 'problem', I'm really screwed if he founds out...

" I said what the fuck did you say to me?", Still I couldn't break away my gaze from his lips and murmured.

".. I told you to shut up about my life and family.. Because you know nothing about it..."

I'm still breathing heavy not by the same reason thou, my eyes are halfway close and i feel rather ... dizzy? Not that I'm going to faint because my vision is still clear thou the sound is all blurry. The silver haired man is on his way saying something again but stops when Someone is touching his cheek.. Who's hand is that? oh... It's my hand... wait my hand? crap my body is moving on it's own and i can't stop it! or is it that i don't want to? He looks strangely at me, well that's not weird at all because I'm pressing my fucking lips against his! Their so soft... I placed my hands gently around his neck and pulled him closer to me, I played along with his hair. It's so silky and soft expect the parts that have hair gel, I've always dreamt of touching it as well as his lips..

My oh so sweet halleluiah moment I've been dreaming of so much then went to a rashly end when I licked his lips trying to seduce him to open them up for me into a deeper kiss, I almost regret doing that now, because I still want to kiss him..

He quickly got up from me and stared at me a little horrified. Aww… His blushing too and I am actually smirking, it's like we've changed rolls… I sat halfway up and leaned my upper body down on my hands who were on the floor. He stuttered and pointed a finger at me. Did I shock him that much?" W-w-what the fuck do you think your doing ? Y-you queer or something?"

…...Silence…...

His finger then pointed down at my crotch and I looked down there too…. DAMNE IT!

" Yeah you f-fucking must be! You have a fucking boner !"

Oh this is so embarrassing … I looked away, sat up fully and pulled my shirt down, so he wouldn't be able to see… Now I joined him by blushing, god I hate it…. I hate this.. He is so going to tell everyone on the school but what does it matter, everyone thinks I'm disgusting anyway and this will make everyone feel more sick when they see me, I guess...

He is still staring at me.. This time I only feel uncomfortable.. And our silence broke when he spoke up, a little more relaxed now

" So what you got the hots for me or something?".. Right on the spot..

I glared up at him, blushing, and stood up.

" Once again, in your dreams Hidan!"

I then took my bag and ran out from the school, left an very confused Hidan.

END OF CHAP 1


	2. Chapter 2

LOL. HERE I AM AGAIN, 3 YEARS DELAY.

Hugglezz..

I just felt like continuing on this story again out of-not having anything to do haha.

I haven't spell-checked or anything :o)

'Cause I'm lazy. Enjoy.

It's funny to compare this to chapter one.. I should rewrite it..

I slammed my bedroom door shut as I just arrived home from school.

Really, this day was the worst.. I've completely made myself an even bigger victim in the ways of bullying in my school.

I know Hidan will tell everyone about my secret.

Maybe not the whole truth though since he probably don't want anyone know that he was kissed by a freak like me, plus the point that I carry a penis.

I sighed and took a seat on my soft bed, hearing the familiar creek echoing out in my room. I reached out and opened my window while lighting up a cigarette, bad habits I know, but at least it's soothing me.

I then took my hand and placed it on the bedtables lower drawer and took out my diary to note down my shitty-day while inhaling the lucid tobacco, just as I could hear knocks on my door.

I groaned in a low tone and quickly put out my cigarette as I laid down, facing the wall since I really didn't wish for any company right now at the moment. Honestly I never wish for company from my so called family that's been despising me for so long for… Killing our mother.

I live alone with my brother Kankuro at the moment and sometimes Tamari, sadly.

"Hey Gaara, you're not smoking in the house again are you?" I could hear Kankuro shout irritated from behind the door as he tugged on the doorknob.

"Whatever.." I sighed out as he entered the room.

"How many times have we talked about your smoking? It's not good for you, take a freaking apple or something!" He nagged as he walked closer to me, probably crossing his arms or something to make it even more clear that he is judging me for being a failure in our family.

"If you continue to give me shit about cigarettes, I might aswell start with smoking some weed if that makes you more happy, douche. Now leave me and MY fucking room alone."

I could hear him make a growl and suddenly I laid on my back, pinned down on the bed with my brother above me.

I couldn't even react when he stroke a fist to my face.

The pain made me hiss and the sadness I already had inside grew.

I just wanted to be alone, why can't people understand.

"You little piece of shit! You should be thankful that I let you live here with a roof under your head! Can't you even show some fucking gratitude by simply not do one thing I ask of you?" He continued to hit me, but I didn't respond to him, just closed my eyes. Figured I might aswell let him take out his anger on me, though I'll get a black-eye in the morning for school..

He'll get tired of it eventually…

The next thing I knew when I opened my eyes, was that it was a new day and that my vision on the right eye was blurry.

I ran my fingers softly over my face to inspect it, feeling it was swollen by the location of my eye just as I had predicted.

It hurt badly and I almost teared up from feeling sorry for myself but quickly snapped out of it and sat up with a sniffle.

Luckily I hadn't overslept, so I got on my way to the shower to clean the blood from my face. I hated seeing the water get soiled by the red colour, I hate blood, It reminds me of that I'm an alive human being.

I got ready for school and tried covering my black-eye as good as I could with my dramatic eye-liner, then put on my headphones and started playing some of my favourite music as I went off to school.

_Chasing a dream you cannot seem to forget  
Mistakes that you've made remembered in your dying breath  
Time has a way of collecting it's debts  
Bringing us closer to death_

Time adds to the weight upon heavy shoulders  
With the knowledge that you will surely die

Finally it was time for the lunch-break, my stomach had been twisting like shit the whole morning since I remembered that I passed out before dinner yesterday.

Not too many had been noticing my black-eye luckily, my heavy make-up can even fool the teachers.

The corner of my mouth almost twisted a smile of the situation that I even had to cover myself up form being beaten from my brother.

But I did it for my sake, since I sure doesn't want to be placed in a shitty foster home.

Before I would take my time to enjoy the provided lunch school offered us I went to the bathroom, being busy in my thoughts I didn't hear the snickering gang who followed me through the corridor.

I picked a toilet cubicle and took myself a piss and then flinched as someone banked on the door.. Fuck.. I stained on the walls..

I hurried up getting myself finished and stared at the door, not being willing to open it.

"Oh Gaara my little fucking crimson flower, open up, I want to have a chat with you."

I could hear Hidan speak calmly as I could hear Deidara, Kakuzu and someone else snicker in the background.

My heart began thumping of the sound of his voice ringing in my ears and I clenched my fist against my chest as to try and calm myself.

I quietly put the toilette seat down and stepped up on it so they wouldn't see my feet. I know it was in vain but.. whatever..

"Gaara I fucking know that you're in there!" He began sounding more aggressive as he lost him patient since he actually really doesn't have one.

He then took a strong kick against the door so that it flung open and then here were again, an eye to an eye, except I had three more eyes smirking at me.

Hidan walked up to me and grabbed the hair above my neck and flung me down on the floor in front on them.

I let out a complaining sound as I landed on knees on the floor with a thud.

Hidan let go of my hair and then stood straight up and looked down at me with a grin and the glanced to the others as he reached out a hand towards me, almost as to introduce me to them.

"Here we have our cock-sucking little faggot, guys!" I looked away from them, glancing at the exit door. Of course he had told them..

"Is that really true Gaara?" Deidara asked as if he didn't fully believe Hidan.

"Dude I fucking swear! 'caught him in the act yeste-" Hidan was interrupted as I stood up to make a run for it, but then flung down on the floor again as he kicked me roughly by the foot, causing me to loose balance.

He narrowed his eyes and stared at me as I was lying on the floor with my elbows supporting me so that I almost sat up.

I yelped as he pressed his foot down on my crotch in fear of him going to crush my sensitive area.

"And where the fuck.. Do you think that you're going? Did I say that I was done with you?"

I remained silent in nervousness and gave out another yelp as he pressed down his foot harder on my package.

"Fucking answer me!" He growled at me as the others chuckled, but I still didn't give in to him.

He huffed and then grabbed me by the jaw as he began to unzip his pants.

Being confused by his action all I could do was to blink and look up into his eyes.

"Go and lock the fucking door, I'm going to show you what a little cocksucker this freak is." He still held me by the jaw as he brought out his cock with the other hand, seeing it was already erected.

Kakuzu stared at us quietly in amusement as Deidara went to lock the door.

Hidan slapped his dick against my face and then stroked the tip against my mouth, trying to press it open.

I was shocked, this was a moment I had caught myself been fantasising about but.. Just not like this.. I began to tremble and tried to turn my face away, but the grip around my jaw grew tighter.

"Go on you little faggot, show us how much you like being a cock-sucker.. And if you bite I swear I'll punch ever fucking one of your pretty little teeth out of your mouth."

I closed my eyes for a second to try and escape it, but I could feel the smell of his member sticking in my nose.

Seeing that I had no other choice I softly began to nibble on his tip with my lips, pretending it to be one of my fantasies. Which shattered as he shoved what could fit of his dick inside of my mouth with a groan, it was too big and hurt the back of my mouth.

I gave out a muffled huff as I began to stroke my soft lips over his big cock.

The other two just gazed at me.

"C'mon Gaara, you can do better than that." Hidan said encouraging and I began to suck him harder as I felt the tears creeping in.

Not yet satisfied with my way of handling his dick he shoved it deeper down in my throat and my eyes widened as he gagged me.

I dug my nails into his thighs hard as I couldn't get any air, but that only encouraged him to go on thrusting into me roughly, supposing he liked the pain.

Tears dribbled down on my cheeks and hissing sounds escaped from my throat as I tried to breath when his cock allowed me too.

He moaned in pleasure, enjoying seeing me vulnerable in his control.

"Mmmh.. Stop fucking crying so that I can fully enjoy this you little shit.." He grunted out, but I couldn't help it. My face were already hurting on the outside, and now also on the inside.

He placed a hand back by my neck to press my mouth against his selfish thrusts, he was panting harder and the speed was increasing.

I felt his hand janking my head back from his dick and as soon as he was out of my mouth I grasped for air with my mouth open.

Hidan had begun to jerk his throbbing dick in front of my face as he stared down at my mouth.

"Keep it open like that.. myeah.. " I could feel his grasp the back of my hair harder and his panting even louder as I started to feel warm fluid land on my face and tongue along with the sounds of his moans.

He then shoved his throbbing dick into my mouth for one last time, and my mouth got filled by the taste of his load. His thrusting and moans went softer as the time passed and finally he pulled out and released my hair to zip up his pants again.

I spat out his left-behinds from my mouth and coughed, trying my mouth with my hand.

"Well that was nice wasn't it?" He panted out with a pleased tone as he eyed on my semen-stained face.

Then Deidara went over to me as if he were going to do the same thing as Hidan had just done, I flinched by his very touch and sniffled in anxiety.

Then Hidan pushed him away from me.

"T'fuck said you could touch him?" He yelled at him and shove him to the sinks.

"Chill out, I though it was cool!" Deidara replied annoyed.

"If you even fucking give a little thought of touching him you're a dead man, he's my victim!"

The two men argued until Kakuzu had enough and put his hands on their necks to pull them away from each other.

"Let's get out of here.." He mumbled and let go of them. Hidan straightened his clothes and gave a quick glance at me who where still down on the floor just as he left me and then nodded.

"Fine."

Then they all took off.

END OF CHAPTER 2


	3. Chapter 3

Weeo another update, Gaara is so confused haha :o(.

I don't even watch anime at all anymore-but I still feel connection to some character in this series. (GaaHidan is still hot as hell.)

It's Friday and I've been skipping school for the last three days after the time that Hidan violated me. Kankuro had to get up early for work these days which I'm grateful for, making it possible for me to not have to get back to that fucking douchebag of crush I have.

I don't understand myself; I'm like one of those stupid girls you see on the movies.

I still have feelings for Hidan even though I hate him for what he did. I must be drawn to make my life more miserable.

I put my hand on my sore throat and squeezed my eyes together at the pain when coughed.. I haven't told anyone about it.

I know I could have reported him, but a part of me didn't want to do that to him.

I sat up on my bed and watched out through my window, listening to small sounds of crashing raindrops against the glass. The gloomy dark gray of the sky felt like a solace for my psyche as I felt like I melted into it. It was a perfect day- I thought.

I had been isolating myself for what it felt like was ages. Only lying in my bed.

I hadn't been eating or showering and I avoided leaving my room if I didn't had to.

I haven't even changed clothes or put make-up on my face.

My hands found their way through my greasy hair that felt damped by the fat and suddenly everything that had to do with me staying in my room got me fed up. I flung up from my bed with a self-annoyance as I cursed my way into the bathroom.

I got undressed and soon my body was exposed to the chilly air that lingered around.

I looked at my arms that had gotten goose bumps and then into the mirror.

As I examined my body, my thoughts wondered off to Hidan.

I wonder if he'd think I was pretty… If I was a girl I mean. I tried to snap away from my thoughts, since it felt fucking ridiculous thinking like that. I narrowed my none-existing eyebrows and stepped into the shower and the heat of the water stung since I wasn't used to it.

My fingertips brushed of my lips that had been touched by my crush and I felt my heart thumping as Hidan once again respassed in my head.

I pictured his cock infront of me, which I never though I would get to see and I couldn't help but to feel excitement bubbling up in my body.

I clenched my fist to my chest and thought about how things could have been different between us and it hurt. Everything about him hurts me, I fucking hate the guy for doing this to me.

I sat down in the shower and poured up a nice puddle of shampoo in my hand as I started to wash my hair whilst the water still poured at me.

I stared down at my member which had hardened without my notice.

"Get back to sleep again you little prick.." I mumbled in a hiss. Then I huffed as I caught myself calling my dick small.

I started to soap my body and the mind drifted away and I fantasized that it was not my hands that washed me. I leaned back to the cold clinker walls and the hands that weren't mine felt so smooth and care-taking.

"If you even fucking give a little thought of touching him you're a dead man, he's my victim!" echoed in my head and it felt almost romatic in a way. Hida had said that I was his property…

I found my hands fingering their way at my cock, which felt ever so sensitive. I'm Hidans. I'm Hidans- I repeated to myself, it filled me with a lust that made me feverish. I gave out softly moans as I stroked my yearning dick. If only it had been in his mouth..

My length throbbed as I stroked it faster, imagining that Hidans tongue were playing around it.

I felt almost like crying, I was so confused, but it felt so good.

My other hands index-finger went down to the skin around my anal and my breathing got even more intense. I laid down on the floor and let the finger find it's way inside me as I played with my cock.

I closed my eyes and picture him on top of me, his ripped naked body and his cute pink nipples I've seen when he took off his shirt in school.

"Fuck me harder Hidan.. I want you to fill me.." I pleaded quietly to my fantasies and the vision of him grinned, but he did as I commanded.

"You're my dirty fucking whore aren't you, ginger boy." I could hear him say in my head, and I answered with commitment.

I started to moan louder as I rocked with my hips and then the sensation filled me vigorously as my semen found it's way outside my cock.

My body shivered and twitched as I cried out the pleasure I felt.

The vision of my bully vanished and I laid there on the floor, starting to feel regret.

I began to tear up and sniffled while I let the shower wash away my naught. I rubbed my teary eyes and cried to myself.

"I'm so fucking stupid."

End of chap 3.


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